Monday, February 05, 2007

A Millstone For Every Boston Accent

I'm sorry that this post will probably offend anyone who 1) has a Boston accent, or 2) knows and loves someone who has a Boston accent, or 3) likes a Boston accent, but...

I have a profound dislike for the Boston accent. It invokes a lesser fit of rage within me. It totally does not make any sense to me, whatsoever. How do you take a word like "saw" and pronounce it like "sore?" Perhaps people from Boston have this pathological urge to put "R" sounds at the end of every word that ends with an "ah" sound.

When a Bostonian goes to the dentist, does he say "arrrr"????????

When a Bostonian addresses Veronica, does she get offended because he just called he Veroni-cur???

Why on earth do they take words that *have* R's and remove the R's? You *saaaw* the *carrrrrr*, you did *not* SORE the CAH.

Now, I realize that one can rail on any American dialect/accent in such a manner, but for some reason, the Boston accent is the best way to take a few hours off my lifespan.

While we are on the subject of proper pronunciations:
1) It is pronounced "CHavez," not "Shavez." No matter what anyone on TV or radio tells you, "ch" is always "ch" in Spanish.
2) Habanero, not habañero. It's pronounced like "ha" (as in "haha") "ba" (as in "bah humbug") "narrow" (as in the phrase "JunkMale has a 'narrow' mind when it comes to proper pronunciations"). One look at any real bottle of habanero hot sauce will confirm this; there is NO tilde.

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