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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Bride Does Not Equal Center of Universe

(Tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary, so coincidentally, here is a wedding-related post)

This past weekend, a co-worker's son became engaged to be married. Naturally there was some talk about weddings.

He mentioned how he knew of a bride who'd bought a $10000 dress. But wait, it was marked down to $4000, so it's okay. Yeah...sure. I said, "That's still ridiculous!" A young female co-worker rebutted how $4000 is not that expensive for a wedding dress these days. I held my position, claiming that it's still ridiculous. That part of the conversation was closed out by her saying that "it's all about keeping the bride happy."

Um. Perhaps I'm just being "insensitive" or buffoon-ish, but becoming a prospective bride does not make a girl into the center of the universe. I will concede that it brings her a little closer to the center of the universe (a little). I think it is entirely selfish for women to magically revert to the maturity level of a 3 year old and rampage on about how this is her wedding and she deserves to have her way. (Or maybe this situation just exposes what she's really like inside) Let's also not forget that there is another person involved in the marriage. What if he would rather spend the money on something else? In this age of the feeble man and dominant she-man, you know what would happen.

Actually, what annoys me is if a bride expects her parents to pay for ridiculous things like a $4000 wedding dress. I mentioned this to Harmony and she agreed that we were not going to destroy our own financial security by paying satanic amounts for one-use items. If Pearl wants a $4000 wedding dress, she will pay for it herself or take out a loan. Hopefully she won't ever want a $4000 wedding dress.

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6 have poured out their souls in electronic text:

  • Headmistress, zookeeper

    You sound like Shasta. One of his hot buttons is 'It's the bride's day, after all.' He feels very strongly that it's the groom's day, too, and it's very selfish for brides to think it's all about them.

    I think 4,000 for a dress is shockingly irresponsible.

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  • Birdie

    I worked in a wedding shop while in high school. The cost of wedding dresses was only one problem I saw with how some (but definitely not ALL) brides to be tended to lose all rationality and perspective. Some of these women went about in a haze of "this is my day and it is going to be the most special day of my life and it had BETTER be perfect!". Well, in this sin-fallen world NOTHING is perfect, and that reality can really make some women act quite mean, I am sad to say.

    When the time came Eaglewood and I just eloped. There were many reasons unique to our lives that wouldn't be true for others, but one reason was that we decided to focus our attention and finances on our marriage, not on a single event.

  • Ginny

    Here is an idea that worked for me. :-D When I was quite young, my mother would let me look at her wedding dress, but not touch. When I was 12, she let me try it on. I tried it on on my birthday every year and we talked about how I would wear it someday when I got married. I wore it when I got married. It needed a little altering, but I wore it. I borrowed a veil from my cousin and a bouquet from a friend. My entire wedding probably cost about $50 and was put together in two weeks. The bridesmaids wore dresses they already had that were in the same color group. The guys took care of their own clothes, too. Invitations were by phone and word of mouth. The wedding was at a military chapel and the reception was in the attached fellowship hall. We had a cake, mints, and punch.

    I believe in a $50 wedding and a million dollar marriage, myself.

    :-D

  • Kendra Logan

    I agree.

    ~Kendra

  • Sherry

    I know some of you have heard about our wedding, but others haven't, so here goes. We got married in the late 70's in January. After looking at all the department stores & not finding anything I liked (modesty wise, not to mention cost) I found the perfect wedding dress at a yard sale for $50. We served the normal peanuts, mints, cake & punch, but also had ham biscuits and cheese straws, thanks to my Mom. The church was free since we were members & we just had to pay all the people involved (caterer, preacher, flowers, & Alan's parents paid for the photographer). We had friends sing & I had two friends get some greenery to decorate the church for free, so the flowers went for simple bouquets, boutonnieres, & candles. After the wedding we were able to sell the dress through the classified ads for $50. I don't think either of my girls could have or WOULD have worn it anyway. My Mom saved her dress for many years & I remember seeing it, but after 6th grade it was clear I would never be able to wear her dress (she is 5'3" & I am 5'8", as is my sister). I don't think our wedding cost much more than $500. but I am not counting the honeymoon, which Alan will have to attest to the cost there. It wasn't extravagant as we only went to Columbia, SC & Charleston, SC from Charlotte, NC. We have been married for over 30 years, so as you can see, it worked!