Monday, March 05, 2007

The Selfish Materialist Discusses Energy Consumption

I honestly don't really care that big cars use more gas and supposedly contribute to "global climate change." The reason I do not want an SUV is because they use more gas. And who pays for this gas, but me. Most, if not all, the lightbulbs in our house are of the compact fluorescent variety. We use them because they save *us* money. Search your feelings, you know this to be true. If I go on a house weatherizing craze, it's because it will save ME energy costs. We drive very conservatively in our Honda sedans not because we care about global warming, but because it'll cost us less in the end. If all these money-saving methods also happen to reduce the stress on natural resources, that's good too.

Yes folks, it's true: JunkMale is energy-conscious not for the environment, but for the reduced hit on his own wallet. Less money doled out for energy costs means more money to kill off that pesky consolidated student loan. That selfish materialist just wants to provide for his family in the most efficient manner possible. That darn selfish and materialistic JunkMale just wants to make his money stretch as far as it can.

Granted, I do not approve of careless destruction and waste of the environment's resources, and of course there's nothing wrong with conserving resources. But as I recall, the earth is here for us to use and inhabit, albeit responsibly. My environmental conservation position only goes as far as my position for humane treatment of food animals; treat them alright and let them roam free until you conk them out and hack them up for me to eat. Mmm meat..

In an entirely unrelated note, I see that many people who have SUVs really don't *need* them in any way. What is an SUV good for? Well...hauling stuff around, I suppose, although you'd be hard-pressed to find someone hauling around plywood and dirt in his precious Cadillac Escalade. Most of the SUV owners I've known had absolutely no need for high road clearance and bigger payload. You are, of course, entirely within your rights to have an SUV. Don't feel guilty, especially if you actually need one and can afford it. Do feel guilty if you don't need one and can't afford it, but still have one anyways.

In another slightly less unrelated note, I conjecture that if you are one of those people that are crazy about environmental conservation, you should not drive a luxury hybrid SUV. You could do much better about your fuel usage if you bought even just a pure combustion engine Honda Civic. It is not rare feat for Civics (and other small cars) to get 40 miles per gallon. Hybrid SUVs seem to average about lower 30's. Hybrid small cars will obviously do much better than that. I wonder what Mr. Gore drives? I'll bet it's not a Civic hybrid. He probably takes his private jet to go to the CVS on the corner.

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