Friday, April 24, 2009

Friends and Common Interests

For some time now, I have noticed that most of the people we have invite to our house are people with whom we share a number of common values/items. Although I can't recall specifics, I do remember that at least one point in my life, church leadership poo-poo'ed on spending lots of time with people who you had lots of things in common with. But is that so wrong?

Inevitably, someone will say "well you shouldn't let your other relationships suffer at the expense of your really good friends," or "you shouldn't ONLY spend time with those people." Equally inevitably, I will say, "I didn't say that."
If I recall correctly, in the whole time that we have had our house, the only people we have invited over are church friends, family, or friends who we used to go to church with. Out of the invitees who currently attend our church, all but one of those couples have been homeschoolers or future homeschoolers. It's just who we gravitate towards. After all, if you attend our church, and homeschool, then it's probably pretty certain that we share a LOT of the same values. Even without the homeschooling characteristics, I would guess that many people in our church share many similar views.

I'm sure it's very possible to have friends with whom I share very very little in common - these would be people who I just enjoy their company. I can think of one college classmate who was like this. But even with this guy, I shared some common ground. He was a physics major as well, and we had similar senses of humor. I believe he was liberal, and by that I mean truly liberal in the sense of the word, instead of lefty communist liberal.

But think about it. Someone who is the complete opposite of you in every way possible while still being homo sapien. Your hair color is different, your life outlook is different, your chief deity is different; you eat health food, she eats fast food every meal; you are handsome/beautiful, she looks like the offspring of an angler fish and a greasy rag; he puts the toilet paper on so the end comes over the top, you like it to come from the bottom (you are strange); she squeezes the tube from the middle, you squeeze from the bottom (consequently, you rock); you think Dumb and Dumber is a prized piece of cinematic artwork, he thinks it's the dumbest movie ever made; you know Han shot first, he thinks Greedo shot first (in which case, you are right). The list of differences can stretch for miles or kilometers.

Do any of you have friends who share none of your values or interests?

(In the interest of full disclosure, I don't think I can be friends with anyone who believes that Greedo shot first)

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5 have poured out their souls in electronic text:

  • Alan

    How about someone who didn't know there was a controversy about Han and Greedo? ;-)

    It's hard for me to imagine a friendship (in the general meaning of the term) with someone without having something in common. If you spent a few hours with almost anyone, I think you'd eventually find something in common. Most likely, you'd spend the time together looking for that thing in common.

  • Birdie

    I'm pretty sure that you have to have SOMETHING in common with another person in order to be friends.

    And, yes, Han shot first. Is that really stil being debated?

  • Birdie

    Still. Typing with a wiggly baby in my lap is a tad difficult.

  • Birdie

    Speaking of common threads...

    Have you tried growing stevia? We've added some to our container garden this year and I was wondering if you might have any advice.

  • JunkMale


    We have grown stevia. After a stint in pots, we ended up putting it in the ground, where it thrived until it died back when the first hard freeze came. I believe it was doing fine in the container too.

    We didn't do anything special. I believe all we did was plant it with good soil, then made sure the soil never got too dry. In my little experience with it, it has been forgiving.

    My dad actually mistook it as a weed and pulled the whole thing up in November. We put it back in the ground and it has recently started coming back up from the roots. It's a good thing he pulled it up in November, since the dormancy probably saved it.

    As for actually using it, we haven't actually done that yet. It's probably best to harvest the leaves before the plant flowers. I believe the method we would use for getting the sweetness out of it would be alcoholic extracts (then boiling off the alcohol later). Or maybe just dehydrating the leaves beyond all get out.

    It is a perennial, so don't give up on if you pull all the leaves off.