Wednesday, July 15, 2009

We Prefer The Boring Life

...so does she.
Recently, the JunkFamily was out attending an old college friend's birthday lunch. The age range of the group was from about our age to people in their 30's, I think. All of them were legally single, although I do believe three people were engaged (two to each other, one to someone who wasn't there). We were the only people with offspring of any sort.

Sometime during the event, a betrothed maiden asked us what we do in the evenings. Harmony and I thought for a bit...and couldn't really give her a good answer to that. It turns out that we are very boring people. We gave an account of a typical evening these days, after I get home - put my lunch stuff away, do dishes, help out with chores around the house, take care of Pearl while Pearly Ma does housework, putting out Pearly Ma's emotional fires, going out in the garden, eat dinner, talk, check e-mail, shower, get in bed by 9 PM. Sometimes we take walks, although to Luna's dismay, this happens much less frequently than the years/months Before Pearl (BP).

Perhaps innerly perplexed, she asked what we did in the years/months BP. Pretty much the same, except without the taking-care-of-Pearl parts.

I see that many people on Facebook oftentimes list multiple current TV shows as their favorites and I wonder when they have time to do anything else. Even with DVRs and whatnot, an hour long show still takes about 45 minutes to watch. How do they have time to clean the dwelling, clean themselves, etc.? My guess is that sleeping time is where the extra time gets pulled from.

But if you know me well, you probably know that I am very stingy about things that can cut into my sleep time. I don't like walking around all day feeling bleary eyed and almost falling asleep on the way home, or falling asleep during meetings. Basically I do not like feeling sleepy in situations where I ought not. These days, there are three factors that are warring against the sleep situation: early rising sun (I do not sleep well in the mornings when it's light out), hungrily persistent dog who wants breakfast, and baby. Since I do not sleep well into bright morning, my best solution is to go to sleep early.

I do not have much desire (if any) to hang out with friends if I cannot have my family with me. I feel that many of our church friends would feel the same, seeing as all of our church friends are families. If we do spend time with one another, it is usually as families (unless it's Harmony and church friend during the day time). On occasion, sometimes aforementioned birthday boy college friend requested me to leave the family at home. Back in the days BP, this meant leaving Harmony at home. Now it means leaving Harmony and Pearl home. One of these days I will bust out the simple truth that spending time with me is a package deal; you want me, you're going to have to get all of us, because spending time with my own family is much more important than spending time with single college friend.

This single college friend will undoubtedly bring up the question "So why don't we talk anymore?" For background, we were best friends in college and went to the same church (I actually had a part in helping him become a Christian), and he brings this up almost every time we talk. I don't have a great answer other than just...life is busy. It is starting to become a real drag, having that conversation every time.

Wanting to spend as much time as I can with my ladies and wanting to get the sleep that I need are reasons why I prefer the boring life.

(I also don't like being busy and running around all day doing all this junk, but that's getting beyond the scope of this post)

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  • Laura

    I know what you mean. I've heard waaaay too many times that the Professor and I need to get a babysitter on a regular basis so we can have date nights -- and it "doesn't count" unless we get out of the house.

    But like you and Harmony, the Professor and I have always preferred to spend our evenings at home, even in the pre-Savannah era. Cooking a meal together, watching a movie we own, or playing a game was better than any "night out on the town." (And cheaper!)

    I did have a friend at church express to me that she felt our friendship was one-sided because I never called her (poor thing didn't yet know how much I hate the phone), and I've tried to make time for more face-to-face time together in response to that comment. I have mixed feelings about it -- she hardly has any time at home with her own family, because she works and has a horrendous commute. And I'm like you -- I'm not fond of going places without my family. But on the other hand, there's a part of me that's hurting for a close (female) friend with my sister so far away, and in this Big City no one has any time during the day.

    You should write a post sometime about "being busy and running around all day doing all this junk." That's been on my mind lately, as we had a marriage and parenting class at church this week where the speaker talked about how they always managed to have dinner as a family when their kids were growing up, even though they had something planned EVERY NIGHT of the week. It sounded like a nightmare to me. Kudos for having dinner together (they would even wait till 8:30 to eat if they had to), but at some point it's just symbolic. The point of eating together is to spend time together, and you don't get that when you're running in the door just in time to catch a quick bite before bed.

    Okay, I've rambled enough -- it's your blog, not mine. (I have this vague memory that I had a blog once...)

  • CappuccinoLife

    We're boring too. I like it that way. :)